Friday, February 11, 2011
I have thought and talked about having an intervention for my father. I always felt deep down my dad is beyond an intervention, or help. He has been to at least 7 rehabs; he will get clean and sober temporarily. There is always a relapse in the end….
*I was so proud of my dad when my little brother told me 6 months ago that my dad was in a facility, and he was doing great. My father told me himself how good he was doing and how he had to quit all the drinking and drugs so he could have his heart stents and other surgeries done. No Cardiologist or heart surgeon would touch him until he was sober. Amen to that! It was a miracle and I thought it was all too good to be true. Even though my dad said he was sober and doing well, I had a very hard time believing him.
My dad called this past September to tell me he was moving into his own studio apartment at a sober living facility, he was so excited to have his own space. I was so happy and so proud of him.
My little brother and I were even planning a trip to go visit our dad in Jacksonville, FL. We have not seen our dad since May 2008. My brother has never been to Florida to meet our dad’s side of the family. Plus our Grandmother is 86 years old and has not seen my little brother since he was 3, my little sister since she was 6, my older sister since she was 18 and me since I was 12. It’s been way too long!
My dad called me two weeks ago and begged for me to return his call and to call my grandmother. I never called back… A week ago our brother (Greg) hit my sisters and I up on FB to get this trip planned to see our dad and grandma back in Florida. I was so ready to do this trip with hopefully all 3 of my siblings and the planning was in the works…
Until this past Sunday morning when we got the news my dad was in JAIL.
We found out why he was arrested, even though we already had an idea why. My dad was arrested last Thursday on possession of Crack, Marijuana and drug paraphernalia (crack pipe). The officer told us my dad could not contact us by phone since he is in another state, we can however contact him by mail. This devastated us; thankfully my older sister was by my side when we found out this bad news.
That night I cried myself to sleep while my sweet T held me in his arms. How could my dad still live his life like this at age 56? This man has four beautiful, awesome and loving children and six sweet grandkids that all love him no matter what. He chose to miss out on it all. My little brother, his only son graduating with honors, getting a full 4 year scholarship to the University Of Washington. His grandkids playing sports and becoming so smart and talented. He missed out on all 4 of his kid’s childhoods. My dad misses it all because of his addiction.
My father has lost everything good in his life and he still hasn’t hit rock bottom. I believe he has no bottom. He lost his wife, family, career, home and car. He has been in and out of jail/prison and now its looking like he is headed back that way again. Prison that is!
Just writing that last sentence made the tears start to weld up, but I won’t let myself cry, NOT today!
Two days ago my little sister (Kellie) sent me this text: “Dads counselor for his program he is in just called me. She was trying to figure out where dad was because she has been trying to find him for a week. So I let her know where he was, and now dad is going to be discharged from the program and has to get his stuff out of his apartment. She is trying to figure out who can get his things”. Since all us kids live here in Washington and the only other family my dad has in Florida is my 86 year old grandmother. Who is not doing to well health wise. So this puts a huge stress on me because I feel like I should do something to help… But I am totally helpless at this point and it consumes my mind daily.
I was thinking last night if my dad doesn’t get sentenced to prison I need to get his butt back here to Washington. Once that plan pans out, I will contact the Intervention show asap. I plan to have each of my siblings write a letter to the show expressing their views about our father. Then another part of me just wants to say it’s a big waste of time, this is who my father is and there is nothing that will change his way of life.
My father is a fun guy to be around, always laughing, a friend to everyone he meets, and has a bug heart, awesome personality and there is so much to love about him. He just has lived a hard life of addiction and self medicates. I know deep down we will eventually lose our father to his addiction. Which makes me sad and angry all at once, because this could all be prevented? He has a chance to turn his life around and it’s not too late. My dad has so many more years ahead of him. I believe my dad’s addiction is a disease and I know its one that he can overcome.
At this time I can only pray and give it to the lord.
I am glad I finally got this off my stress and shared it with the blog world.