Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Feelings that can't be explained....

The holidays are over, the Christmas décor is taken down and boxed up and my house is back to its normal boring self. Not only does our home look boring it is extremely silent. When I say silent that means no kidlets, just my Sweet T and I.

Its Ryder and Mazie’s week with their daddy and Isaiah went back to Tennessee.

I have joint custody, so Ry and Mazie’s dad and I do an every other week deal. We have been doing this schedule since June 2010; it took me months to get use to not having my kids every other week. The weeks without them were pure torture, and I would slip into a great depression. As time went by I started looking at my situation so much differently. Don’t get me wrong I still miss my kids like crazy and sometimes I may be very emotional about it. Thank god I have my Sweet T, he is my rock and my support when I am down and out missing my babies. I don’t know what I would do with out him in my life. T has shown me how to be strong about the whole situation.
Now its time for me to give some of that support back to T. It is hard to imagine what he is going through right now. His son lives across the country and T goes months with out seeing his boy. I feel so foolish for ever complaining about my sob story.
At this point in time I am doing my very best to be there for T as he goes through this rough and emotional time. In time it does get better, it’s something they both go through each time the part. I’m not sure if it will ever get easier for them.
I’m not very good at dealing with emotions and such, so I feel completely helpless.
The only way I know how to deal with it is by making my Sweet T smile, keep him busy and give him lots of love. Tomorrow is T’s birthday and I plan to take him to Anthony’s for a nice dinner and make this birthday very special.


  1. My only advice is to thank him for being "Daddy" even when his little man is states away because as a child who grew up with just my mom it would have been awesome to know that although far away my dad still loved me as best as he could miles apart. There's a piece of mind as a child knowing your dad is still near in your heart. Lots of dads turn the other cheek and since Tim doesn't he deserves huge kudos. He's a strong man for dealing with the heartache of not having his son in his daily life & sometimes just reminding him of how amazing that makes him will help ease the pain.

  2. Thank you Coley! That was wonderful advise and I will try my best to pass that along to T as well.